Drive In (Retro Romance Redux)

About a year and a half ago, we had discovered an awesome retro-romantic date idea that did not even require a babysitter.  The Drive-In Movie, however so hard to find these days, was a way for Chris and I still to keep up with new movies in a way that we could still bring Cheyenne.  We have since frequented this spot, Vineland Drive-In, with varying success.  This last time, barring a potential glow-stick fiasco*, was a perfect trip.  This time we got there nice and early, so that Cheyenne could share in the whole atmosphere of getting all set up in the trunk, eating our dinner like a picnic, and then by the time the movie started, she was pretty sleepy and we could relax in this pseudo-date night.

*The glow stick fiasco consisted of us, mid-movie, realizing that Cheyenne had broken a glow stick and was on her way to dreamland while her shirt and pants were lighting up the back seat with a neon pink glow.  We changed her clothes in a panic (which she thought was hilarious) and frantically searched the dark car for the package that we finally found and resolved that it was non-toxic and we didn't need to call poison control, or call child protective services on ourselves.

Apples and Trees at the Petting Zoo

We visited our favorite Farmer's Market last week in Santa Monica.  It is an old friend to Chris and me.  We have frequented the same loop through many stages in our SoCal life.  There are pony rides and a petting zoo that we like to watch, but we thought this time, Cheyenne might want to actually get closer to the animals or even ride one of the ponies.  We discovered, oh so clearly, just how much Cheyenne is like her Mama.

My mom used to say that as a baby and a child (and I am still this way in many ways, I just hide it better), I was quite an observer and I would want to watch for a long time before I was going to participate in anything.  Well, all I can say is ... Apples and Trees ... my sweet little apple is staying close to this Mama tree.

It was a funny feeling really, watching her, because I really could feel her thoughts.  I knew instinctually and personally to wait it out longer than you would think appropriate and be patient with her watching, and eventually when asked if she wanted to get closer and pet the animals, the decisive and fearful "no's" would slowly turn into a reluctant and quiet "yeah?"   

The pictures say it all:

Big girl walking on her own through the Farmer's Market.  As long as we were a good
15 feet away, she was very interested in the ponies and petting zoo.

Watching the pony rides and petting zoo from a safe distance in Daddy's arms

When we heard a "yeah" from our girl, we knew we didn't have much time before she changed her mind.
We compiled all our coins at the corners of our wallets to scrounge enough for some feed for the petting zoo
 (which included dimes, nickels and a $2 bill)

Some of the fearful creatures that Cheyenne was nervous about...
How cute is that little baby calf?

Only Mama could pet the sheep.
But if I stopped, she would push my hand over so I would pet some more.

Interested, but still not so sure...

Our brave little girl

She was a bit concerned throughout the whole process that her shoes were getting hay all over them.
(Kinda looks like that goat wants to kiss her, or nibble on her hair, more likely)

And finally comfortable, Cheyenne is a natural ranch girl

Baby is happy. Daddy is proud.

Growth

What a gift it is to have gone on this same trip and sat on this same tree exactly one year later.  I have learned more... grown more... this year than any other.  Chris and I talk all the time about how before we became parents, there were so many threats about how our life will change and how "hard" it will become and how little time we will have for each other and ourselves.  These things couldn't be further from the truth in our experience.  Our life has only evolved and grown. Change is not the word that I would use.  For change and growth are both so very important, but they imply very different things.  Being a parent has not changed us.  We do all of the things we did before only now we get to share them more fully and we believe all of the same truths that we did before and now they just seem even more deep and important.  Trees grow taller and wider and the roots grow deeper, but they don't change.  And time has just become more rich, more complete.  Being a mother has been having time for myself - because I am more myself than I ever have been.  Time for each other and time for ourselves have never been more real and plentiful.  Time is exactly what we have and it is filled to the brim and just grows each year*.


we all truly have grown
even the trees.

*That is not to say that time doesn't fly so fast that I can barely catch it by the tail before it is gone into memory-land...

Zucchini Muffins

Cheyenne has been touch and go about her veggies and so to move along the process, we decided to add some cinnamon and sugar.  You know what they say about a spoonful of sugar... well try a cupful and you are golden!


Zucchini Muffins are now a good friend in the Gould household.

Here is the recipe I used:

Zucchini Bread 
(Recipe adapted from smitten kitchen)
2 cups grated zucchini
3 eggs
1 cup cinnamon apple sauce (you could use veg oil here)
1 3/4 cups sugar
3 teaspoons cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
(raisins, nuts or chocolate chips might be nice addition as well!

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Line muffin pan with holders (For tutorial, see pics below)

In a large bowl, beat the eggs with a whisk. Mix in apple sauce and sugar, then zucchini and vanilla.

Combine flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, baking soda, baking powder and salt

Stir this into the other mixture. 

Pour in prepared muffin pan

Bake until a tester inserted into the center comes out clean - about 20 to 25 minutes.

(It made about 18 muffins, but you could do it in loaf pans too!)

Of course, they won't taste quite as good without this little helper...
I can lend you mine for a small fee.

A Fort

The definition and purpose of a fort changes throughout your life.  I think that in every stage and definition, there is a sense of secrecy and a fort always has a connotation of a certain home base, a hideout.  We can all relate to some point in our teenage years, when a "fort" becomes something of a retreat when we want to escape from our existing world.  This hideout for a teenager is essential in the brooding and in the emotional reflection that we are desperately learning to deal with at the time (do we ever really master this?).  I know for me it was always my car.  I could hideout and control the volume, the temperature, the speed and I felt as if I didn't have to be part of the rest of the world for the time that I was safe in my little VW.  I didn't even have to go anywhere, I could just sit and appreciate the perfect isolation.
As an adult, there are far fewer reasons, and even fewer opportunities to retreat to a fort.  But I think that we do our best to find tiny times to reflect and "hideout" - be it a weekend away, or more often just a shower.
But as a child... oh to be a child... a fort is not a retreat from the rest of the world.  No, no.  A fort to a child, is a creation to another world.  Yes, it can still be a place to be alone with your thoughts, but more often than not, they are thoughts of discovery and invention.  A fort for a child is the ultimate place for imagination and creation.
It is where we learn to wonder...





Here are some pictures of Cheyenne's first fort.
(Of course there is the time that there is more fun in the destruction of the fort than the creating... but she'll get there.  This is just the beginning...)

Lessons from my daughter

Cheyenne will always choose a book over a toy.

Imagine if more adults did the same...

Squirrel Lessons

My grandma taught my mom 

to be friends with the animals.  They are integral and special parts of our world and can give us peace and bring us back to zero when we need a deep breath.

My mom taught me.

Footsteps are being followed...

and the squirrels are benefiting...

Balancing the Bubble

I'm discovering that life as a mama is a constant ebb and flow of holding on and letting go; tucking in and urging forward; letting fall and letting fly.  The tide comes in and I want to hold on to every finger and cradle every bone, then the tide goes out and I want to open doors and set free. 

To hold on or to hold up

I seem to get caught on one side or the other.  I am either worried that I am keeping her

i n    a    b u b b l e

hindering her vision and confidence, or letting her

b e    a    b u b b l e

giving her to the mercy of the wind.

Balancing that bubble each day, every day.  And every day more is at stake - the vision and confidence is more important and the wind grows less merciful.